


Before

by SilverFliesInBlueSugar



Category: Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Backstory, Blood and Violence, Bulimia, Cutting, Depression, Eating Disorders, F/F, F/M, Hatred, Headcanon, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Multi, Not Safe Sane and Consensual, Other, Paranoia, Past Rape/Non-con, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Psychic Abilities, Rape Recovery, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Sexual Violence, Sleep Deprivation, Suicidal Thoughts, Threats of Rape/Non-Con, Underage Rape/Non-con
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-06
Updated: 2018-10-06
Packaged: 2019-07-27 05:02:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,394
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16211954
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilverFliesInBlueSugar/pseuds/SilverFliesInBlueSugar
Summary: In which Romeo tells Jesse the story of before he was an admin.





	1. Chapter 1

"You were a human once before, right?"

Romeo blinked at the question-slash statement, looking up from where he was sketching a blueprint. "What do you mean?"

"Well.. In Fred's uh.. Final message about stopping you, he mentioned that it would 'turn you back to how you were' or something. So you must have been human before an admin, right?" Jesse asked nervously. 

Romeo looked suprised for a moment before it dropped into heavy discomfort. "Aah, that's-"

"To be frank, that isn't your damn business" a voice snapped, and Jesse flinched at Xara suddenly leaning in the doorway, looking rather angry. "What do you get out of asking that?"

"Xara, it's ok.." Romeo sighed, looking still rather upset but more calm now he had gotten over his initial shock. "It won't really affect anything anymore, all things considered"

"We all know tall, brunette and freaky is still out there" she deadpanned. "And unless you're gonna leave out the biggest parts of our past, you're going to have to bring him up".

"Tall, brunette and freaky?" Jesse echoed, looking bewildered. "What are you talking about?"

Xara sighed. "No one, unless we have a death wish"

Jesse's confusion doubled and Romeo just bit his lip in indecision. "We could tell him about the other stuff, couldn't we?" he asked her after a moment. "And you could cut me off if i start mentioning things i shouldn't"

"...Nothing about me, then" she acquiesced after a moment, looking annoyed before it twisted into something that made Jesse shiver. "Say anything about me before the point i met you and I'll make you regret not killing me"

Romeo looked scared for a moment before it softened into unreadability. "Of course i won't"

She exhaled slowly and closed her eyes. "Go ahead then"

Jesse slowly sat down beside Romeo, eyes full of curiosity. 

Romeo breathed unevenly for a moment before slowly beginning to speak.

"I met Xara right after i ran away-"

\---

"WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU, YOU LITTLE SHIT?!" a man screamed, running up the stairs, feet thundering on each step. The floor above him, a boy with tangled and dirty red hair hyperventilated, blue-amber eyes filled with fear as he clutched a knife defensively. Blood ran down from a cut on his collarbone, dangerously close to his throat, staining his white shirt a steadily drying red.

The door to the room he hid in was flung open, and he screamed at the sight of the silhouette of his pursuer. 

Holding a sword.

He tried to back up, face frozen and taut in his terror, only to feel his back hit the wall. The figure swung at him, and he closed his eyes and braced, thrusting his knife out.

He felt something warm spray his face and waited for a death that never came.

When something hit the floor, he opened his eyes.

And dropped the knife he had been clutching.

His father lay on the floor before him, a stab wound in his chest and the life fading from his wide eyes. His sword was half stained with the blood he had drawn from the young boy, the cause of the cut on his collarbone.

Romeo made a strangled cry, clutching at his head before gagging and turning away to throw up.

"It was self defence it was self defence i had to i had to-" he gasped out hysterically, a desperate attempt to lower the magnitude of what he'd just done.

A sort of delusional panic crossed his mind. People would find the body. Would they kill him? Would they beleive it was self defence? He had to go. He had to..

So, in a semi conscious state he picked the knife off of the floor, wiping it into his shirt, figuring it was already plenty blood stained, grabbed an apple from the counter on his way out and sprinted out of town as quickly as he could, trying to ignore the shouts of those who saw him. 

He ran into the forest and kept running, even as brambles and thorns shredded at his ankles and he grew a stitch and tripped too many times to count. He had to get away. He-

He tripped for the last time and didn't get up, having sprained his ankle. Groaning in pain he pulled himself to sit up, leaning heavy against a tree. His vision swam and he saw double. Breathing grew harder as the sun slowly set and the air grew cold.

He tried to stand up but his ankle stung so badly, sharp stabs of pain like it was glass being pushed through the skin and muscle and bone- that he screamed and was barely able to stop himself after several seconds.

He closed his eyes.

Only to snap them open as a feeling of warmth suddenly enveloped him.

He looked down.

A jacket was draped over him.

He looked up to see a.. Girl? At least he figured she was a girl. She looked very effeminate if she was a boy. She had short mid-tone purple hair that didn't even reach past her ears and was wearing a black shirt and shorts.

And had... Bruises on her neck?

"...Hi" he mumbled, picking at the jacket. "Why you give me this?"

She blinked a few times. "You were freezing to death" her voice was weirdly toneless and flat. She sounded... Dead.

"Well.. Won't you freeze then?" he frowned. She shrugged. He bit his lip before smiling awkwardly up at her. "Get under here. Shared body warmth is good against cold, i er... Think"

She looked suprised, though even the changed facial expression didn't lift the emptiness in her eyes, then frowned slightly. "Will you touch me?"

He jolted. "Aah- what?! Of course not; i don't even know you!"

She seemed to observe him for slightly longer before accepting his words and sitting down next to him. He lifted half of the jacket to put over her and leant against her slightly. It felt very very awkward but he'd rather share a jacket with a stranger than freeze to death.

And after an hour or so he couldn't help but sleep... Only to jerk back into reality only a few hours later when the purplette started yelling and thrashing, eyes screwed shut and screamed incoherently. He grabbed her wrists and pinned her down when she tried to swipe at him, and when she showed no signs of recognition he slapped her.

She froze immediately before slowly opening her eyes, face pale. "What..." she realised he was on top of her and uppercut him. He fell back, stunned, and felt even moreso at the rage on her face. "YOU SAID YOU WOULDN'T TOUCH ME!"

"It's not like that!" he protested, hiding a grimace at how his dried blood t-shirt smelt. "You started freaking out and attacking me so i pinned you! That's it!" he held up his hands placatingly.

She glared at him. "I.. Beleive you" she said hesitantly. "But i won't get back under that"

He looked to the discarded jumper and sighed. "Yeah. One sec"

He moved to pick it up to give back to her but his still pained ankle twisted from underneath him, sending his head crashing into the tree they had been leaning against. She yelped and ran over to him, and he started at the sight of concern in her eyes. Extremely faded, but there. "Are you ok?"

"No" he grumbled, poking at his foot. "I'm pretty much useless for walking". Somewhere in his trousers he felt the blade of his knife press against his thigh from in his pocket. He pulled it out and jummed it into the tree, using it as a stabiliser to stand up.

He grunted and picked the jumper up, throwing it at her, blinking in suprise when she seemed to flinch violently and barely caught it. "Jeez, the hell happened to you?" he asked in bewilderment. She flushed and looked away, clearing closing off as her expression seemed to go utterly neutral. "Nothing. Should i leave you here alone?"

"I mean.. I don't really have a choice in that" Romeo murmered, exhausted mentally as it seemed everything that had happened caught up to him in this moment of semi-respite from the drama that always haunted his life. "I'd appreciate you sticking around since you kinda seem like a runaway too-" she frowned every so slightly but he continued. "So what's the harm in chatting? I have an apple!" he waved the item at her after picking it fron his inventory. She looked hungrily at it before walking back over to him.

Food always wins them over, huh?


	2. Chapter 2

"So, what's with those bruises on your neck?" Romeo asked curiously, watching her eat the apple with his unnatural eyes his father had hated so much. His mother had had hazel eyes and his father had brown ones- so how he ended up with ice blue eyes with golden flecks was honestly beyond him too. His hair was an anomoly too - his mother'd had brown and his father had a dark ginger. He got a flaming red. 

His father used it as more ammunition to call him a freak.

'...bad memory, bad memory. Leave the past behind, Romeo' he mentally reprimanded himself.

"I got in.. A fight" she responded, snapping him from his thoughts. He blinked in surprise. "A fight? Those look like they come from bite-"

"I don't want to talk about this" she interrupted sharply, and he realised that in those dead eyes, tears were welling up. The hand holding the apple was trembling badly. He suddenly felt quite bad.

He yanked the knife from the tree and began to idly fiddle with it to pass time. When she finished eating she threw the core and leant against the tree, closing her eyes.

Romeo felt like there was a bubbling or itching beneath his skin, begging to be let out. He paused playing with the knife and began to press it into his fingertips, a sort of morbid wonder crossing his face before the girl beside him slapped the weapon from his hands and frowned at him. "The hell are you doing?!"

"I was just bored" he grumbled, snatching the knife back up. Perhaps just to ire her, he sunk it into his wrist.

..Only to be punched.

It flew from his grasp again, but he had no time to retrieve it as she clambered on top of him so he couldn't move, before which having pushed him down. "You asshole! Don't just do that in front of me!"

He glared up at her. "The hell you supposed to care?! I've known you for a few hours! We don't even know each other's names!"

"Then fix that!" she scowled, not moving off of him, seeming to be trying to hold pressure on the minor cut he now had directly above his vein. "What's your name?"

"Romeo" he sighed before pushing her off. "Stop doing that, it's a tiny injury. What's YOUR name?"

She licked the smear of blood on her hand (Romeo couldn't restrain a grimace) and shrugged. "I don't have one"

He raised a brow. "You.. Don't have a name? No one's ever called you anything?"

She grunted, picking up the knife she had forced from him and slipping it into the waist of her shorts. "I get called a lot of things. I guess the only one to sound like a name is 'X'" She frowned. "But i think it's meant to be short for 'ex girlfriend'. I reminded him of his ex" she shook her head. "Moron."

He decided not to ask what the hell she was talking about and shook his head. "Can i call you something else? X is a bit weird.."

She shrugged. "Go ahead"

"How bout.. Uh.. Xar?" he tried. She pouted slightly, and a part of him realized she seemed to be showing more emotion around him than before. Was she becoming comfortable around him. She shook her head. "That sounds weird"

He rolled his eyes. "You said i could pick it! Xa! Xar! Xara! Xararar-"

"Har har" she sighed. "Xara sounds fine. Don't you dare call me Xararar"

He smirked. "No promises"

She groaned before looking at his ankle. "Does that work yet?"

He tested it, moving to stand up, and grinned as the pain was much lessened. He could actually stand now! An improvement.

"Well done" she clapped sarcastically and he pouted, the victorious expression dropping off of his face. He looked around quizzicaly. "Since I'm mobile now.. What do we do?" he turned to her. "If you want to come with, of course?"

She eyed his shirt. "Only if you wash that. Blood does not get better smelling over time, by god"

He shrugged, having gotten rather used to the smell, before his eyes widened. "Crap! The guy i killed to get covered in this-" she raised an eyebrow "-Everyone's gonna know it was me! I'm gonna get killed!"

She snorted. "Such optimism. We just need a plan"

He glanced at her. "What did you even do to be in my position too? Or have you always flown solo?"

She shrugged, expression closing off like it had before. Her entire body tensed. "It doesn't matter now. I just need to get away from here"

He bit his lip but nodded after a beat of deliberation. "I mean.. Okay. You'll have to tell me eventually, though. I can't trust you if i don't know anything about you"

She sighed, emotions seeping back into her again. "I know. But now now" she looked at the floor. "I'll say this though - you're not the only one with blood on your hands"

He jerked in surprise.

She quickly moved on. "So.. Should we just.. I dunno.. Walk along and see where we end up?"

He blinked before smiling faintly. Simple enough. "Sure" he reached down to pick up her jacket, wincing at the pain in his wrist. Ok, making that cut just to annoy her was a really dumb idea. Ow.

"That's totally going to get infected.." she mumbled. He frowned. "It better not. Cmon, let's go"

He set off ahead of her, hobbling at first due to the pain in his ankle, but as it steadily faded he began to walk more normally.

Eventually they passed the outskirts of the town Romeo had lived in, and he couldn't help but give it one last wistful glance. His time there had been.. Horrid, but it had been all he had ever known.

They kept walking, and he couldn't help but glance at her, and the way she shivered. Feeling embarassed about not returning her jacket, he draped it over her shoulders. She smiled softly at him and he felt himself grow warm, something unrecognisable thrumming inside of him. He ignored it.

An hour later they happened apon a river and he crouched down beside it, cupping some water into his hands and sipping it. She curiously followed suit, clearly never having done such an action before. He took off his shirt and put it under the rushing water, sticking his tongue out in distaste as the water immediately pigmented pink, though it soon washed away back to it's normal clear. His shirt, while certainly not clean, had much less obvious stains, and the smell of blood felt less suffocating.

He frowned at his now wet and unwearable shirt, wrapping it around his waist. Eh. He could go shirtless for a bit. Wouldn't kill him.

He noticed her from the corner of his peripheral observing him, but when he tried to meet her gaze she turned away, stuttering out random words. He blinked in confusion, that same odd warm feeling rising back up.

Then she seemed to look at him more closely and blanched. He looked down at himself and cringed. His skin was a patchwork of bruises and patches of scars, some long and darker marks rather obvious to the cause. 

She looked at him in a different light. "That's from... The person you killed, right?"

He looked away. "Yes."

They stood in silence for a few quiet seconds before he set off walking and she hurried on after him, a worried look on her face that she quickly hid.

Then she seemed to pause and swallow, feet seeming to deliberate before she walked. He looked at her curiously and she looked away. "You shouldn't feel embarassed" she mumbled, something odd in her eyes. She pointed at her neck. "This was from the person i harmed, too. I'm not judging you"

He released a breath he hadn't known he was holding. "...Thanks"

She smiled slightly. "You're welcome."

.  
.  
.

"Wait, how did you get those bruises?" Jesse asked, and Romeo stopped telling the story for a moment. Xara swallowed.

"It doesn't matter anymore. It never did. I never di-" she froze, cutting herself off.

Romeo's expression was shocked for a moment before he looked pleading. "Xara, come on. You know none of that was fine or your fault"

She growled, lowing her head so her hair shaded her eyes, ignoring that it didn't hide the tear that was already running down her face. "Shut up. Just... Keep telling the story, idiot"

He swallowed, but did as she said.

.  
.  
.

Eventually the two children found themselves walking through nighttime. Romeo began to work at some trees to gather wood, while Xara seemed stuck between ogling him and grimacing at the marks on him. What kind of person does that to a kid?

She then touched the marks on her neck and shuddered. 'Probably the same kind of person who-' she stopped, swallowing thickly. 

Romeo built them a simple shelter, just 4 small walls and a thin roof. "This should make us slightly less obvious for mobs. I uh.. I'm not sure how we were lucky enough to not encounter any yesterday, but i doubt we'll be lucky enough twice. So.." he slumped down by the wall, closing his eyes. "...Sweet dreams, i suppose"

She nodded. "Yeah. Goodnight"

They drifted into sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

(Could i have some feedback on how I'm presenting all of this? I have no idea how to write the aftermath psychological effects of assault and abuse, so i would like to know if there's something i should know to improve or something i should remove that is innacurate)

He woke up before her, blinking hazily at the light creeping in through the inconsistensies in the wood, little cracks and holes emitting the beams.

He shivered at the wave of cold air that seemed to flush over him, sort of wishing he had asked for her jumper. Noticing that his shirt was dry, he pulled it back on. This made him feel slightly better - but not really by much.

He glanced over at Xara, breathing shallowly near him. He clutched at his shirt above his heart. The attraction he had already gotten to her.. It wasn't healthy. It was a desperate co-dependance he had grown due to neglect causing a fear of abandonment and quick-set attachment. He needed to know her better.

Not to mention that she looked like she had been through some pretty tough stuff.. Sexually. He didn't want to start on her with her in that condition. It was wrong.

Clearing his thoughts, he moved to shake her shoulder to awake her. The moment his fingers grazed her her hand snapped up to grab his arm, twisting the limb back painfully. He yelped and tried to hold her down as he had last time, but this only made her panic more, and he began to freak out as she screamed, violently thrashing before throwing him off.

Scrambling up, he looked up to see her huddled in the corner, arms wrapped around herself and gasping out shaky breaths.

He clutched his now sore arm as he looked at her with trepidation. Would she react like this every time he woke her? He didn't know if he was okay with that.

"Pleasepleasepleaseplease-" she whimpered, and he paused as she realised she was having a panic attack. "Ican'tican'tican'tpleaseplease-"

"Hey.. Hey" he softened his voice as far as he was able to, slowly walking over to her. "It's okay.. Xara, c'mon"

She shuddered, scratching at her arms. "Ican'tican'tican'tpleasedon'tmakeme-"

"I won't make you do anything" he said softly, slowly reaching out. She moved away from him, crying desperately, and he paused his hand in mid air so she could see he wasn't going to make any sudden movements. He felt like he was taming an injured animal. "Xara.."

She tried desperately to control her breathing, body jolting rather violently several times. It seemed every time she tried to calm it just got worse.

Eventually he gave up and hugged her.

She seemed to tense up at the contact, breath freezing and entire body stopping, before slowly moving to hug against him, hands trembling terribly as she wrested with his shirt, burying her head in his shoulder, trying with renewed effort to breathe. 

Several minutes passed and she seemed to calm, so he withdrew. Dried tear tracks ran down her face and he saw the way she seemed to be instinctively covering her neck. "Fuck, I'm.." she looked away. "I-i'm sorry, i must look like such a freak.."

"No- no!" he protested, eyes filled with comfort. "I.. Can't imagine how many times you've woken up to.." he swallowed. "Someone wanting to.. Hurt you. It's natural to have that kind of ingrained reaction"

"But i attacked you" she whimpered, looking at the arm she had rather violently bent back. "I-i'm sorry.."

"It's fine" he said softly, trying his best to show on his face that he didn't mind. "Trust me. I get it. Sometimes my dad.." he paused and looked away. "Sometimes i would wake up to my dad drunk or angry about something, and those experiences have made me jolty about mornings sometimes too" he smiled at her, though there was no happiness in it. "So i get it. You don't need to feel bad."

She swallowed and nodded, not looking entirely convinced but slightly more pacified than before. He patted her shoulder before standing up. "Are.. You okay to head out?"

She nodded after a moment. "Yeah" she seemed to remember something and pulled his knife from her shorts, handing it to him. "I keep forgetting to give this back.. Sorry"

"S'ok" he shrugged, expression nonchalant as he could manage, glancing between the knife and the not yet faded markings on his fingertips before sliding it into the waistband of his own trousers. She did up her jumper, and they collected the wood of the house before setting off walking again.

.  
.  
.

"So wait, when did Fred come in?" Jesse asked curiously. "Much later, or quite early?"

"Hmm.." Romeo mused. "It was a while after i had met Xara, but we were still kids, not teens, i think"

"Can we skip to that part?" Jesse couldn't help but whine. "Look, this is incredible to hear about, but i do have a town to run"

Xara rolled her eyes.

Romeo chuckled and nodded, skipping several months.

.  
.  
.

"Should we settle here for a while or just a little bit?" Romeo hummed, sliding his bag off of his shoulder. They had found a run down house that wasn't lived in and promptly decided 'Jackpot.'

Unfortunately, it sat at the edge of a well populated village. So they could definitely be spotted and kicked out.

Eh. Semantics.

She blinked at him, shoulder length hair falling to obscure one of her eyes. Said eyes were calm but alive. Which was moreso than he could say compared to when he first met her.

Speaking of back then, he could not be happier to have been able to find several new shirts since then. He wore that first bloodstained shirt for 2 weeks!

He grimaced even remembering it.

.  
.  
.

"This is 3 months after, by the way" Xara suddenly awkwardly intercut.

Jesse blinked. "Oh. Uh. Thanks"

Romeo coughed.

.  
.  
.

"A little bit" she said back, slumping on the slightly dirty looking sofa. "I ain't risking getting caught"

He looked over at her, patient but with slight sadness tinting it. "No one is going to catch you. Not while I'm here. I promised that."

She chuckled, a slight flush crossing her face. "So you did. Well.. I'm holding you to that."

He hummed in affirmation, pulling his by now rather dulled and rusted blade. "Dang. I need a new one of these"

She raised an eyebrow over at him. "Not while you're still slicing your fingers up with it, you don't. If you get Tetanus I'm ditching you"

He frowned. "Te- tet- the hell is that?" he kicked a small rock, grumbling as he nearly walked into a cobweb. "Did they teach you about diseases? Why?"

She shrugged. "I mean.. They didn't teach me? I just heard them talking a lot.." she picked at the peeling paint on the wall. "They hurt other people. Not in the way they hurt me, but.." her eyes clouded over. "They always discussed the best ways to harm without giving the victim something life threatening so they died early"

Romeo grimaced. "Jeez. What the hell."

She shrugged. "I killed their leader. They're probably screwed up. I hope the others escaped in the panic"

He smiled slightly. "Here's hoping, yeah.." he glanced at her. "How did you even kill him? You just said you caved in his skull. But, like.. How? With your hands?"

"I just.. Hit him over the head with my manacles to stun him and then snatched his metal bat and uh.. Made sure he stayed down" she mumbled. He raised a brow. "You didn't try this before?"

"He said he would kill me when he was done. The adrenelin that thought gave me was.." she sighed. "I don't even know if it was adrenelin. I just.. Everything seemed to go sharp for a moment and he was moving so slowly and i was moving so fast.."

He hummed. "Reckon you're a freaky magical person? Hello, ms. witch!" he bowed deeply. She scoffed, though she couldn't hide the amused grin. "You suck"

"You suck more!" he returned, sticking out his tongue. She giggled and his heart felt ready to jump out of his chest.

Then there was a loud crash, and they ran to the (mostly broken) windows at the front, peering out to see shards of a glass bottle on the ground. Romeo frowned. Someone had thrown it?

Then he saw a boy lying on the ground with cuts all over his head and arms. He had dark tan skin with fluffy black hair and coppery eyes. He was chubbier than Romeo and Xara (not like that was an accomplishment as they were always on the verge of starvation) and his eyes were filled with tears.

And standing over him were a group of boys who looked either his age or slightly older. Teenagers, definitely.

"What's wrong, freak?" one of them shouted, and for some reason beneath his confidence Romeo could smell fear. Why would he be scared of a boy he was beating up?

"Why don't you push us away with your freaky powers, huh?" another kid laughed, spitting on the ground. "Come on, don't you wanna kill something, you asshole?!"

"No, i don't want to hurt anyone!" he cried in response, sobs becoming more haggard. Romeo's eyes widened as he saw one of the boy's eyes turn from a copper to a red, light blue creeping across his skin. "Please, go away!"

"Ugh, he's transforming again! Kill him, quick!" a boy shouted, and another nodded shakily and raised an iron sword above his head.

Romeo felt like the world slowed down.

The blue skinned boy was clearly in no position to defend himself, hysterical, and Romeo didn't even think as he thrust his hand out and cried out, too caught up to realise a grey colour snaking up his arms before a pulse seemed to burst from him, sending the armed boys flying backwards, some slamming into trees and some hitting the ground.

He stared down at his hands, stunned, and heard the blue boy gasp, Xara staring at him in shock from beside him.

In the panes of glass he saw his eyes glow red and gold.


	4. Chapter 4

"So.." Jesse paused. "Nothing really.. Caused your powers? You just got them? Randomly?"

"There's more to it than that" Xara sighed, scratching at the back of her neck. "You gotta keep listening and stop interrupting"

"Sorry"

.  
.  
.

"It's another one!" one of the teenagers screamed, shaking severely, pupils shrinking to pinpricks from sheer, unadulterated fear. "Shit, fucking run!"

They sprinted away, screaming, and Romeo could only stand in awe at the tendrils of red energy twisting around his now rather grey wrists, albeit steadily fading. He suddenly snapped out of it, vaulting through the window and running over to the blue skinned boy. "Hey, are you ok?"

The kid stared up at him in shock before nodding twice in rapid succession and accepting Romeo's helping hand to stand up. The blue seemed to recede from his skin, leaving a normal tan behind. His eyes seemed to dull from that violent red to a normal copper. He was still watching the faintly grey skinned boy in shock.

Xara ran out of the door, knocking Romeo on the back of his head with the flat of her hand. "Who the hell vaults out of a window frame lined with glass shards?" she glared. "You could have sliced your hands to pieces!" she eyed the knife in his pocket. "Not that you don't already do that.."

"Oi!" Romeo complained, breifly forgetting the other boy as he poked her in the chest. "I do NOT!"

"Then the fuck're them?!" she exclaimed, gesturing at the scars covering his fingers and palm. He shoved his hands in his pockets, ears burning.

"U-um, excuse me..?" the tan boy mumbled, and they both turned to face him. "You have the same.. Powers as me?"

"What?" Romeo took a moment to catch up before his eyes widened and he brought up his arms, trying to will back the grey. It didn't come. He sighed and slumped. "I don't know WHAT that was" he mumbled.

Xara hummed, looking equal parts curious and tired of life's shit. She turned to the unnamed boy. "So um  
..who are you? And what was all of what just happened?"

Romeo couldn't help but smile slightly. She was so confident, despite everything that had happened to her. Amazing.

.  
.  
.

"Were you in love with her back then?" Jesse couldn't stop himself from asking, immediately after slamming his hands over his mouth. Romeo stopped talking, jaw dropping as his entire face went bright red, blending in with his hair. Xara also went a shade of pink.

"I-i.." he managed, waving his hands as if that would somehow reverse time to stop Jesse from saying what he had. He slumped, burying his face into his hands. 

"...istillam"

Jesse blinked, not having quite heard. "What?"

"Yes, i was" Romeo mumbled, pushing his hair back. Xara looked like she wanted to be anywhere but here, more flustered than Jesse had ever seen her before. It was simultaneously amusing and made him feel bad for asking.

"O-oh, ok" he replied awkwardly. They sat in relative silence for several seconds.

"oooOKAY THEN LET'S CONTINUE!" Romeo suddenly shouted, before moving back into telling the story.

.  
.  
.

"My name's Freddie, but you can call me Fred" the tanned boy replied quietly, and Romeo couldn't help but notice how he blushed when he talked to Xara. Something ugly twisted in his chest. 'Jealousy  
..?' he ignored it.

"And, um.. Those boys were trying to.. k-kill ...." he bit his lip. "Well, they'll come back. No one wants me here anymore"

Romeo blinked. "Why? You seem like a pretty nice kid"

Fred shook his head. "No, I'm a freak" he said firmly. "I'm not normal... Look"

He closed his eyes and held up his arms. Almost immediately the blue spread across his skin like before, his eyes flashing a red so bright Romeo swore it left streaks in the air when he moved.

Romeo stared at him in wonder, and Xara hummed, equal parts curious and dubious, before poking him. Fred yelped as his energy instinctually lashed out at her, and she jumped back as a wave of hostile light seemed to wash over her, stinging slightly. "Jeez, you're defensive.." she mumbled, ignoring the sting. Her pain tolerance was abnormally high.

Unlike Romeo, who had a very low tolerance and had resultantly become slightly too curious with the concept of pain, leading to the now badly healing scars all over his fingers.

"What are you?" Romeo asked curiously, and Fred sighed. "I.. I have no idea. I started being able to be like this a month or so ago.... Everyone thinks I'm a demon or some sort of bad omen"

"Can't blame 'em" the other boy hummed in response. "So what happened to ME? My skin went grey and my eyes went freaky for a bit too. Did your magic effect me, or am i some kinda bad omen too?"

"I don't think my energy touched you. I think you're whatever i am too. Try again to bring it back" Fred responded. Romeo nodded and concentrated..

..And doubled over with a scream, hands coming up to clutch at his head as images flashed by his eyes.

Him. Xara. Fred. Blood, blood, so much blood. Deep cuts on his arms. Xara screaming. Bright flashes. A man with green eyes and brown hair reaching out to him, a glowing golden gauntlet on his hand..

White, glowing eyes.

He fainted.


	5. Chapter 5

He awoke groggily to Xara leaning over him and a sharp pain in his cheek. Had she slapped him? He jerked up into a sitting position, accidentally headbutting Fred and sending the poor boy reeling. 

He groaned and clutched at his head, before his eyes widened in surprise. The healing cuts on his fingers were bleeding anew, as if the injuries had been reopened perfectly as they had been caused. His hands were tinted an unnatural grey.

"What... What's..?!" he panted, forcing himself not to hyperventilate and having debatable success, heart pounding in his chest as the blood ran down his hands in rivulets.

Xara pulled him into a rather violent embrace and he held onto her, aware that his bleeding hands were ruining her shirt but too out of it to care. Fred knelt next to them, looking slightly scared. "Are you okay? Y-you were screaming before you passed out.." he stammered. Romeo frowned. He didn't remember screaming.

He pulled back from Xara once his hearts palpitations had calmed. His hands were letting off some kind of steam, and he noticed the wounds healing. But they weren't scarring - the skin looked completely normal beneath.

"Ok. Ok. This is... This is fine" he choked, eyes wide and face pale.

Xara shook her head. "We should lay you down on that sofa in the house we were gonna stay in" she turned to Fred. "If you don't have any place to go, you're welcome to tag along"

"Oh.. Thanks" the tan boy nodded, watching Romeo warily.

Xara slung his arm over her shoulders as he walked with her, but he slipped in and out of consciousness.

He heard them talking, but it was like hearing them through a glass bottle or thick wall. It was all muffled and blurry.

One lapse of lack of consciousness was longer than the prior.

Romeo found himself standing in a strange world. Everywhere he looked was white. Up, down, everywhere. Emptiness. It didn't seem to stop either, as if he was somehow floating in stasis.

Then he looked forward, and saw-

.  
.  
.

"Romeo!" Xara hissed, eyes flashing to her admin form for a split second. The redhead jerked back in shock, his own eyes lighting up in response before he swallowed thickly. "Xara- we can't just not-"

"You won't talk about him" she growled. Her hands came up to grab the front of his shirt and jerk him toward her. Her fingers steamed and Jesse's eyes widened as he realized she was burning his shirt simply with her touch. He knew she still had some sense of dormant power- but she hadn't done anything so dangerous before now.

Romeo looked legitimately scared, so Jesse took control and pushed her off of him. Not too strongly; he didn't want to harm her. She fell back and growled at him, sharp teeth his focus for a moment before his eyes redirected to focus on her own, which were flickering between normalicy and admin.

"Look, you don't need to tell me" he shook his head. "But i don't want you trying to hurt or threaten each other"

Romeo frowned. "We can't just.. Not talk about it ever. Xar.. He won't come just because we talk about him. You know that"

She let out a sound that sounded rather violently like a sob, and Jesse stepped back as he realised she was setting the floor beneath her alight. "I don't want to take that chance. I don't want to remember him. You were tormented by him for... Fuck. Hundreds of years" there was something childish and weak in her face, and Jesse swallowed thickly. She was fighting to not get lost in her memories. "You should be more scared than me"

The redhead shook his head, digging his nails into his wrist, expression open, contrasting how composed he tried his best to be normally. "I AM. I'm.. god... He scares me to death. He ruined my life. He made me.... made me..." he shook his head. "But... But we aren't admins anymore. He can't do anything. And i want to talk to someone else on this.."

She growled but seemed less ready to scream or lunge at him, which Jesse took as an opening to stand between them. "Please don't get into a fight over this" he said softly. "Whatever this is.. Do what's best for your mental state"

Xara looked conflicted before covering her face with her hands, shaking visibly. Jesse was unnerved at how disturbed she seemed to be. "Then.. Do it."

"Romeo looked like he wanted to hold her or comfort her in any way but restrained himself, nodding at the permission.

"The man before me was called Herobrine.."


End file.
